Twins, development, and existential fear at the heart of intimacy

In this paper, I will examine the factors that affect the development of twins to show that there is a fundamental difference between the formative experiences of twins and those of singletons, and that simply treating twins as two individuals who happen to be developing at the same time is damaging. While the nature of the processes of development are the same as they are for single born babies, there are unique factors that affect the development in each twin, of an individual sense of identity and an experience of ownership of oneself.

The birth of twins disrupts the concepts we usually apply to understand development of singleton babies. Exploration of the impact of the existence of a twin, and of the twinning processes between the twins, and how this will affect the development of each of the babies, offers us a better chance of enabling them each to mature into individuals within the twin relationship. In addition, the processes of creating a separate sense of identity for each twin offers us an insight into universal difficulties with true intimacy.

The processes that allow us to develop of a sense of self and other, of a sense of unique identity, are more complex for twins. The fact of having a twin, and the interplay of emotional forces between the twins, and between them and their family, society and the world, will have a profound effect on their development. I will outline the development of the enmeshed indelible matrix of early un-thinkable experiences in twins, including the earliest somatic, pre-verbal, proto-mental memories, that exist at the core of all twin relationships. For some this enmeshment will bind the twins in a stifling twinship which prevents either or both twins from developing a secure sense of individual identity that can be accommodated within the twin relationship. 

For psychoanalysts and psychotherapists working with a twin patient, understanding the processes of twinning, of the emergence from narcissistic twin states, to the creation of a unique sense of self, is vital if we are to understand the patient. The transference twin will be a central element in this work and where it is not recognised, acknowledged, and addressed, a fundamental part of the patient’s experience will remain unexplored, to the detriment of the patient.  I believe that the topic of twin transference is clinically of enormous importance. Bion (1967) wrote early on about twinning processes but the issue has been chronically neglected and overlooked.

In this presentation I will present an excerpt from work I have done with a twin patient that illustrates the intensity of the fear that we encountered at the point of her emerging disentanglement from an internal psychic twinship, into a sense of individuality and separateness; one in which she was not dependant on the other twin for her psychic survival. She encountered a terror of psychic annihilation, of existential death - a terror that also exists at the heart of intimacy/pseudo-intimacy, whether from too much encroachment on the privacy of the self, or from the fear of the loss of the self through dis-entangling an enmeshed psychic twinship.

About the speaker 

Vivienne Lewin is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist who worked in private practice. She trained at the London Centre for Psychotherapy (now the British Psychotherapy Foundation) and was a Training Therapist and Supervisor. She is a Fellow of the British Psychotherapy Foundation. She has specialised in understanding and working with twins. Vivienne has retired from clinical long-term individual psychotherapeutic practice, but continues to offer consultations relating to her work on twins, and Twin Therapy. She also supervises and writes on her work with twins.

Vivienne has written a number of papers that are available to read on her website: www.viviennelewin.co.uk, and she has published two books on a psychoanalytic understanding of twins and the twin relationship:

 

2016. The Twin Enigma. An Exploration of our Enduring Fascination with Twins. Karnac Books, London and New York.

 

2004. The Twin in the Transference; Whurr (London). 2nd edition printed by Karnac Books, London and New York, 2014

 

 

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